Welcome! and a Note on the Dichotomy of Disney Male Heros

Well, here we go again.  This blog is mostly made because Laura made one, and as of this post, she consists of 100% of my readers.  Therefore I dedicate it to her.  Anyhow, very soon I will be flying to Serbia and assuming that I can find some sort of reliable interweb service there and manage to connect and feel like it with anything approaching regular frequency, this blog will serve as an outlet for me letting You, my dear reader(s?) know what is happening in the Balkans and what international incident I have failed to cause prevented on any given day!  Also, in the insanely optimistic worldview that I continue to use this after I get back, it may talk about things like: Hockey, the sordid state of Clemson's attempt to become a top-20 public university, hockey, life in the South and how much it sucks (no beer on Sunday), hockey, and probably computer and tech stuff.

BUT FIRST:

A short dissertation (with evidence!) on how one cannot be a male Disney hero without either A) an incredibly spoiled and lavished upbringing or B) dead parents.  Let's take a look, shall we? First, let's look at classic princess movies:

-Sleeping Beauty - Male hero: Prince Phillip.  Status?: Prince

-Snow White - Male hero: The Prince (wow).  Status?: Prince

-Cinderella - Male hero: Prince Charming.  Status?: Prince

-The Little Mermaid - Make hero: Prince Eric.  Status?: Prince

"So what?" you say.  "They're princesses, of course they married princes."

Well.  Let's keep going, shall we?

-Beauty & The Beast - Male hero: Beast. Status?: Magically transfigured... Prince!

-Hercules - Male hero: Hercules. Status?: Prince, mostly. Son of Zeus should do it.
   And.. sort of orphaned. Hmm.

-Lion King - Male hero: Simba. Status?: Prince, albeit lion. Also: watched father 
   tragically die.  See where I'm going?

-Bambi - Male hero: Bambi. Status?: Orphan. Mother shot by hunters

-The Fox & the Hound - Male hero: Todd.  Status?: Orphan. Mother shot by hunters

-Peter Pan - Male hero: Peter Pan.  Status?: Orphan, although he doesn't really 
   seem to care

-Jungle Book - Male hero: Mowgli. Status?: Orphan, family killed by evil 
   jungle creatures

-Tarzan - Male hero: Tarzan. Status?: Orphan, family killed by evil jungle creatures

-Aladdin - Male hero: Aladdin. Status?: Orphan, viciously pursued by thugs daily

-The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Male hero: Quasimodo. Status?: Orphan, gypsy 
   parents killed by evil thugs

-Tangled - Male hero: Flynn Rider. Status?: Thief. And, oh yeah. Orphan.

So, yeah.  Basically, to be a Disney hero and be male, you gotta either be born in a palace, or have no parents (preferably, your parents were killed by the villains you will later face.)  

Anyway, there are counter examples.  Look at Pinocchio!  He's got a loving father, and.. what's that?  He isn't a real boy?  Oh.  Well, Dumbo then?  Ehh... okay, take that one.  Magical racist flying elephants can have some leeway, I guess.

So that's it.  Tune in later for more excitement!